It was indeed a shock for him as he listened to his child say those words, "You're not my father, you don't even exist for me." Hadn't he been there when she was conceived, when she took her first breath and let it out in the first of many frightened cries wanting only for the comfort and safety of the womb? Wasn't it he who had comforted her so many years ago when her grandmother had passed on, alone and confused in her room, so numbed by the pain and confusion, suddenly so alone in the world that she felt as if nothing made sense? Wasn't it he who had given her the strength to stand up in front of that 8th grade assembly, awkward in her braces and budding womanhood, to deliver that speech which would help define her future and set her on the path she now followed? Yes, it was him. So how did he end up here? He wasn't surprised at all. Hurt, yes, but not surprised.
She was an intelligent young woman, mature for her age, so stubborn and sure of everything that it was difficult to change her mind sometimes. He loved her so and tried, as all good fathers did, to teach her those lessons that are sometimes best learned through personal experience. She listened at first, the advice sounded solid and right. But later that advice just didn't jive with what the rest of her friends were doing, with what she saw on tv, with the rest of the world. So she decided that her father was just old fashioned and really didn't understand what it was like to be a child in the world today. Eventually she came to despise him for his advice. He was just trying to control her with his outdated rules and she was too smart to believe he was right.
"Cherish and respect yourself because you are precious. Save yourself for your one true love, the one you'll marry." Great in theory, but so hard to do when you are so sure that this is the one. She didn't wait. It didn't last. She knew that she had given something away that she could never get back. There was now just a hole where that thing had been and she needed to fill it with something else. She always felt less than adequate inside, so she worked that much harder to fit in with her peers, always looking for that thing she so dearly missed. Surely the next one was "the one", each time giving a bit more of herself away but never finding the one to make her whole.
"Don't drink to excess or do drugs. They ruin your body and brain." Again, it sounded like sound advice but was so hard to do with her new friends. "Work hard, play hard", that was their motto and if it was good for them, it couldn't be bad for her. She soon found that she needed the drugs and alcohol to fill the ever widening hole inside of her and those words of advice soon began to chafe her, rubbing her emotions raw. She was having fun and she didn't need him trying to tell her what she could and couldn't do.
"Love your neighbors as yourself" that was a simple one, yet so hard to follow in the world she lived in. She had worked hard to get to the position she held in life, sometimes having to do things she knew weren't right, sometimes harming those around her to get what she wanted, but she had come to accept that this was the world she lived in and to get ahead you have to live by the world's rules. She had learned early on that you could use those around you to get ahead. Sometimes you had to step on people to get to the top and she had gotten to the top. She was successful, but she wasn't happy. He tried to speak to her, but she didn't want to hear anything he had to say. Just being in his presence made her feel the weight of her decisions, made the stains of her life stand out in stark relief to the beautiful and precious child he knew her to be. She began to hate him for that.
One day, she made a decision. It would be so much easier to live life as she had decided to, so free of guilt and shame, if her father didn't exist. She wouldn't feel controlled by his rules and could be free to do as she pleased. She would have no regrets. So she told him so. "You aren't my father. I am not your child. You don't even exist to me." And she went on living life as she wanted, but her denial of his existence didn't make him any less real.
You may think that this father would have been angry, even furious to hear such words from his child. He was heartbroken to be sure, but he wasn't angry. He didn't rant and rave, looking to punish his child for her impertinence. He knew that she had to have the free will to do as she would. She had to have the ability to make her own decisions, bearing the repercussions for her actions however harsh they may be. He couldn't stand to be close to her, her lifestyle prohibited it, so he was forced to leave her be. But he never stopped loving her and was always there waiting for her to return to him, because his love for her was unconditional and boundless.
There will come a day when she will see Him for who He is. She will know that He is here and that He is real. Her life will be an empty shell, filled with empty things that hold no value and her need to fill the hole in her heart with something meaningful will drive her to her knees. She will come to realize that those "rules" weren't meant to deprive her of some joy in her life, but were there to protect her. They were for her own good. He had always meant only good for her life but she had been led astray by the world she lived in. It was a fallen world, chasing after selfish desires and teaching her that she was too smart to follow her Father's rules, that it was weakness to rely on His strength. She will cry out for Him.
When that day comes, He will be waiting. He will take her in his arms and show her the unconditional love He has for her. She will find that love to be the exact size of the hole in her heart and, when she has accepted Him into her heart, she will be made whole again.
She will say, "You are my Father", and He will say, "You have always been my child."

Until next time...